Death on terms

Welcome to my party,the ocassion is pity,pity party. Make a point of putting on black while reading this,I wrote it in black ink,seated on a black chair wearing an all black ensemble. Not that I was sad much, no. I am a big fan of black as a colour and writing about death in a black environment makes me want to go on and on. Did I mention that I am a black woman,properly tanned? 

As a writer an idea pops in your mind and you pick a notebook and pen and want or rather begin to write. Midway through you realise perhaps you would have done the article justice if you had researched on it. Then you're tempted to stop midway and curse the thought of starting it in the first place. Totally missing the point you can end up with what looks to your eyes as a shitty piece below what you are as a writer. This is the story of my life and I hope in my writing I don't sound as inexperienced as the draft sounded. 

Death isn't talked about much. Open discussions about death are weird to most people. Wicks and memorial services are usually characterized by an eerie silence which I was told is respect to the dead. Paths that pass through or close to cemeteries are usually not busy by day and at night deserted cannot fully describe how they look. This is beyond culture. Most people fear the dead and death as whole. We fear losing our loved ones and almost never think about our own deaths. In coming up with this I talked to a few friends and one answer cuts across,it is God's will. I was disappointed. I wanted an open conversation that was independent of religion,tradition or any other belief that binds human reasoning. 

Every year,while celebrating your birthday,you're getting closer to your death day. Practically we live to die;as the saying goes,no one leaves this place alive.,there's only one way out. I don't want my story to end in a gunshot. Gunshots are usually very loud,loud is not my kind of exit and noise is also not good for my ears you know. I don't want my story to end in a drowning. Must be painful to have your insides filled with water till when you can't  take more. Burns are painful,I cannot imagine getting burnt to death. All those scars won't be good in my after life. Poisoning, no sir. Poison makes the insides crinkle. Accidents,all that bleeding plus breaking one or two bones.,not cool.

There's not a single good way to die. If there was no one has the power to choose. When do I get to die? When I grow shorter. How?by sleeping nice and easy. Please don't die before you die,when you can narrow the scope of terms. We all gone die anyway is a good mantra to live by in your youth but later on,live before you die.